Photo of Mr. Wilks, pondering where he "went wrong"

Jason Wilks Unveils Plan to Hit the Pavement, Starting Next Week

In what has been touted as an answer to all of “mom’s bitching”, Jason announced yesterday that he’s really going to “get out there and hit the pavement” and get a job, “starting next week”.

Tired of all of the jokes at his expense, and everyone shitting on his dreams, Jason announced his plans yesterday during a screaming match at his parent’s home.

“We were laughing at him, not because we wanted to hurt his feelings, but because he was telling us that he wouldn’t ever buy one of the new Hummer vehicles because they were too big” his older brother said. “As if he could ever afford one” he went on to say.

Jason’s family has recently decided not to veil their jokes about him, and instead has opted to tell them in front of him, in a way they hope will prod him into action. Action that to date, seems lacking in Jason’s life.

“When I became a man, I joined the army” his father said after the incident. “When my son became a man, he lost his job at Blockbuster” he went on to say, with a noticeable quiver in his voice.

Jason has recently worked on his resume in order to bolster his chances in the job market, but so far there are no bites.

“1995-1998 – Seasonal job at H.T. Coles Amusements” and “1999—McDonalds, Pathmark, Knotts bus service, and Picker at Bucchi Analytical Warehouse” have yet to pique the interest of local employers, but he hasn’t given up hope.

“I lost that job because the Japanese bought out the company” he said when asked about his Bucchi Analytical ‘picker’ job.

At the time of this writing, the details of Jason's job search plan had yet to be fully revealed to his family.

By File Boy