Officers Cleared After Shooting Batman 11 Times

Wilmington, DE – New Castle County District Attorney Deidre Greyson said the two Wilmington police officers who shot batman during a confrontation were justified in shooting him.

"It was necessary to protect themselves and other civilians," Greyson said.

Bruce Wayne, 74, was shot 11 times as he charged at officers standing on an apartment stairway.

They said Batman also disregarded their orders to stop and put down his utility belt, police said.

“Since the murder of my parents by dastardly criminals, violence has been anathema to me" Mr. Wayne was reported to have shouted as he hurled plastic, Mattel Batman figurines at the officers.

Ignoring shouts from the officers, Batman went on to say, “I don't like having to resort to such mendacity."

Witnesses at the scene report that a struggle ensued, during which time Batman called out, "The good works of my Wayne Foundation require that I stay above the brawl of politics."

Nevertheless, a brawl ensued, and the result was shots fired on a confused and disoriented Batman, police say.

Reports from the scene indicate that Batman did not die at the scene of the shooting and was brought under control with real utility belts, which included tasers, handcuffs and pepper spray.

However after being arrested, Batman was taken to Chester Crozer Hospital, where he was pronounced dead upon arrival. At the urging of his family, Batman was transferred to Christiana Hospital where his condition was upgraded to serious but stable.

A Fallen Star

Last year Batman was arrested on similar charges, and appeared in court for disorderly conduct. During that incident, which occurred last September, Batman waived his right to a preliminary hearing and was remanded to Gander Hill Prison in lieu of $750,000 bail.

According to court records, Alfred, a longtime associate of Batman arrived at the courthouse shortly after Batman’s arrest. "Congratulations, Alfred. Your keen sartorial sense has done it again", Batman was reported to have said at that time.

Court documents indicate that Alfred arrived after receiving some sort of message from Batman, though it is unclear what that message was, or how it was sent. Those records indicate that at that time Alfred said, "I came as soon as I received your morse bat-code message. It was really most propitious that I happened to be dusting the Batcave when you sent it." Batman replied, "I counted on your love for your work."

Shortly after Alfred’s arrival in court, he was arrested for causing a disturbance. The nature of this disturbance also is not clear, however eye-witnesses report Alfred saying, "Dinner time, sir” just before it began.

“He then wheeled in a little cart with a roast duck and all kinds of food on it” said Vicky Long, a bailiff at the court. “Batman then said something like, ‘A peanut butter and water crest sandwich and a glass of milk would have been sufficient enough, Alfred.’”

When court officers seized the roast duck with mango salsa, Alfred began to attack them, demanding they unhand him. He was brought under control almost immediately, and was then placed under arrest.

Batman was a noteworthy crime fighter during the 1960s and 1970s, however his popularity was short-lived, and his fame faded during the 1980s. Some critics feel this drop in fame lead to his eventual arrest in 1988 for disorderly conduct, and his 1989 arrest for being drunk in public.

When Batman was sent to prison following a DUI arrest during the early 1990s, many felt that his crime fighting days were over.

by File Boy