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Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests. Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hardworking and honest (except for when I broke into your house). According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my spouse will do your yard work because he too is hardworking and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hardworking and honest, um, except for well, you know.
And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!
Only in America...
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests. Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hardworking and honest (except for when I broke into your house). According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my spouse will do your yard work because he too is hardworking and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hardworking and honest, um, except for well, you know.
And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!
Only in America...
by d.tkon
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 11:22 AM
11 Comments:
I couldn't agree more. Finally something File Boy and Dtkon can agree on. You know who had a platform similar to this don't you? Pat Buchannan. He was big on building huge walls around our country.
The illegal aliens are only taking a page out of our own book though.
This same entitlement characteristic is pretty common amongst a lot of Americans. Most people feel they are entitled to all kinds of things. Most people think the gov't should take care of them from cradle to grave, and support them all along the way. People believe in their right to privacy (interestingly not a constitutional right), right to welfare and right to social security. If you trammel their rights, they will exercise their right to sue. When did illegal's get to share in the rights of citizenry? I'm tired of everyone's rights. Enough already. I wish they'd exercise their right to remain silent, and get back to work. My windows are dirty.
Yay! We agree! It only took 3 months of bitter back-n-forth until we found something in common!
(oops - attention deficit disorder kicking in) Guess what? I was eating pizza at Grotto's for lunch today and they had the television on and I watched two hunters kill the biggest F-ing moose I've ever seen with a bow & arrow.
Oh. . . and as for the right to privacy? Go back and read the 4th Amendment of the Bill of Rights. I'm not sure exactly what it says, but it's something like "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."
Um . . . or something along those lines. Anyway, I believe the right to privacy (to be secure in their persons and houses papers and effects against bla bla bla) in actually in the Constitution. Prego baby! It’s in there.
So the moose was so big that the two big dumb stupid hunters just stood there shaking hands congratulating each other and wondering how the hell they were going to drag a 2,000-pound carcass out of the marsh. Can you even eat a moose? Is that a good animal to bag or are they like sea robbins? You know, that trash fish you can’t eat and only use for crabbing.
I’d pay money to build a wall, but I suggest we build it on the northern border of Texas! They can fucking have it! Plus I don’t even speak Spanish. Well, all I know how to say is Mi tortuga tienne columbres – which means my turtle has cramps. Well, it’s a start.
My comment about privacy was simply referring to the fact that a lot of people say they "have a right to privacy" when in fact, the word privacy doesn't appear in the 4th amendment, or any other amendment for that matter, as your brilliant recitation so eloquently proves.
As far as moose meat goes, I've never had it, but the fact that moose are in the deer family (in fact the largest of the deer family) and deer are so tres bien, I'd assume its good. I'm sure that like most other wild game, it probably takes a while to get used to it, but then again, with a 1200 pound animal, you have a lot of opportunity to experiment with recipes.
As far as getting the thing out of the woods, it is hard enough to get a deer out of the woods, and around here they usually weigh (after being gutted) about 90-150 pounds on average, with a monster at 180-200. Typically the guys who hunt moose (and elk) take along a small axe for cutting the animal into quarters, and even then most moose hunters incorporate an atv or mule into the dragging out process.
...see this is what I mean. file boy makes a stmt tht takes abt half a page and proposes a question. d.tkon answers w/smthg out of LegalAid for Dummies and both of you still miss the obvious answer: Arrest the Mother F*cker for breaking and entering and deport him!
P.S. Isn't Bullwinkle a moose -- can you really eat Bullwinkle w/out guilt?
Do you leave the weener on or off before you drag it out of the woods. I mean if it's not one of the parts you use in recipies, I assume you'd just leave it there in the woods. But how do you decide who gets that job? And is that considered a good thing or a bad thing (cutting it off). In hunting lingo is there a term for that like de-weenerizing or dicking-off or choppy-cock? And is it an honor to get that job or is that what you do if you get the short straw?
I know some people eat rocky mountain oysters, so I thought I'd ask.
I swear to god man, you should have seen the size of that moose when the 2 dudes were standing next to it. I kept thikning, "Now what?" I didn't see any ATV or mule. They did have a little yellow lab with them, but I'd say 20lbs is about all that dog could lift. And they didn't look hungry enough to eat the whole thing right there. I think they just wanted the head. You sould have seen the rack on that thing (wow - never thought I'd say something like that about a moose. A cow perhaps, but not a moose.)
Hey! Watch it S'Girl or I'll send you a bill for that legal advice!
Actually, I have to agree with you. Just arrest the fuckers, but let them finish making the beds and mowing the lawn first.
Bullwinkle is definitely a moose, though I heard he was very gay. I don't know if that changes how you feel about killing moose. You wouldn't want to turn it into a hate crime.
OK, so when you shoot a male game animal, the common practice is to gut it and remove the penis and testicles (you asked). I've only shot a few bucks, and I haven't been able to do that to either of them. I just couldn't make myself do it. Now as far as who has this job, its the person who pulled the trigger. There is no tradition of drinking a cup of blood from your first deer or anything like that, as far as I know (though I have heard it and have seen it in the movies).
What you do is lie the animal on its back (female or male) and then straddle it and put your knees on its hind legs. Then you insert your knife under the skin somewhere on the belly. You then move your knife up the stomach towards the brisket (the rib cage). You must be careful not to puncture the intestines or stomach or you will smell the worst smell on earth. If you shot the thing in the stomach, you already smell it, thus the practice to shoot in the lungs/heart area (plus its much more humane).
After the guts are removed, you then remove the genitals.
The last deer I shot (this past October) I did all of that except when I got to the heart I left it in. I was already covered in blood, tired and disgusted as it was, and I figured "what am I paying the butcher for anyway?" but I'm sure that was not good form, and the butcher probably saw it and thought I was lazy.
excuse me, but it's hard to hurl and remember tht you're the same guy who loves nature and the great outdoors...again, you left the heart in why? -- didn't have the "heart" to remove it? Leave the penis on why? -- don't want to ever touch anyone else's penis even if it belongs to an animal? (you do realize that some questions are just rhetorical, don't you?)
FB - If you have the female deer lying on her back with her legs spread, and you're straddling her, and you're in the woods alone, and she has those big beautiful (lifeless) brown eyes . . . oh wait. That would be necrophilia.
Hey, seriously, thanks for that primmer on animal gutting and the gutless habits of the gutter and the gutted. I couldn't help imagining what it would be like walking through the woods and coming upon a giant animal penis, testicles and blood everywhere.
Oh wait! I know, I'd be very scared and would start keeping a careful eye out for my wife!
As for leaving the heart in, I'd always leave the heart in. Fuck the butcher! (Just lie him on his back . . .)
One last comment - you probably never would come upon blood and guts in the woods for two reasons. First, where a hunter gets a deer is usually a mile back into some pretty thick stuff, and 99% of the time not on a path, so you'd really have to search it out to find it. Secondly, and more importantly, the guts disappear in a day or two because of foxes and other carrion eaters. That's one of the reasons you leave the guts in the woods. If you're not going to eat them, why let them go to waste? Something will eat them. I remember gutting a deer one day, and then going back in the very next day to hunt the same area (this was about 10 years ago) and the guts were almost completely gone. Within a week it would be hard to tell they were ever there.
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