Philadelphia marks beginning of Kwanzaa with 403rd homicide this year
Community Events Coordinator Sheila Himms wanted readers to be aware of upcoming homicides this year. “We should be able to squeeze in another 5-10 homicides this year, and that doesn’t even count the people who will be shot by falling bullets as a result of New Years eve celebrations”.
Event planners have been hesitant to set a number of how many homicides one might expect to be able to witness before the year is through, though expectations are high.
“I feel like we are riding on a wave of shootings right now that should crescendo as we near the New Year”, Mayor Street said last week.
The city planning office has already begun planning next year’s Kwanzaa celebration. “I think we can top 500” Himms said.
Visitors are encouraged to tour the Kensington and South Philadelphia neighborhoods. “That’s your best bet for witnessing a New Year’s homicide” said Himms. “I haven’t been able to personally witness one yet, but I’m hoping for a Kwanzaa miracle”.
Community Events Coordinator Sheila Himms wanted readers to be aware of upcoming homicides this year. “We should be able to squeeze in another 5-10 homicides this year, and that doesn’t even count the people who will be shot by falling bullets as a result of New Years eve celebrations”.
Event planners have been hesitant to set a number of how many homicides one might expect to be able to witness before the year is through, though expectations are high.
“I feel like we are riding on a wave of shootings right now that should crescendo as we near the New Year”, Mayor Street said last week.
The city planning office has already begun planning next year’s Kwanzaa celebration. “I think we can top 500” Himms said.
Visitors are encouraged to tour the Kensington and South Philadelphia neighborhoods. “That’s your best bet for witnessing a New Year’s homicide” said Himms. “I haven’t been able to personally witness one yet, but I’m hoping for a Kwanzaa miracle”.
by File Boy
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 2:47 PM
7 Comments:
This is a riot! I want some of what you're smoking today! Perhaps we should get in a shitty Honda Accord with one of those fake donut tires and the wrong color quarter panel in the back, and head on down to Aramingo Avenue with some Rap blasting out-da-car. We can drive slow and lean out the windows and shout racial epithets to everyone and comment about how nobody seems to be working! We might even get to see one of those murders!
I saw one last year. It wasn't that big a deal if you ask me.
What I'm smoking, is, how you say, "pot". I put it in a little white paper called "rolling paper". Then I light it with something I like to call a "lighter". Then I smoke it and it makes me feel "good". Then I like to write "stuff".
I agree with what you said, except instead of a shitty honda, we use a big 4x4 (think Grave digger or BigFoot) and that way no one can reach us.
Yee Haw.
"Pot"
"Rolling paper"
That's so "I miss my youth."
I don't miss my youth at all. Nor do I actually use any drugs. What I'm high on is life (and caffeine). Anonymous comments are "witty" though.
Holidays over, back to real life and this: I don't see any problem with rolling papers and the happiness that goes into them. I went to a college where that was not only strictly prohibited, but extremely difficult to find. I played around after college, but quickly grew out of it (Three words: Random Drug Testing).
Then my supplier moved away.
But as you get older, you no longer need that artificial high. You begin to get high on life. And love. And laughter. And small children playing. And blue skies. And fresh air. And fields of lillies.
Seriously, if anyone knows where to get some- hook me up!
I love addgirl's sense of humor!! (except when its directed at me)
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