Face-lift under way at cemetery
EDGEWATER PARK — Landscapers are removing 54 dead or diseased oak trees at Beverly National Cemetery this month and there are plans to replace all its roads and curbs this spring.
“We are real excited,” said Mary Hendley, the director of the cemetery. “It's just going to make a better appearance overall.”
But what really has heads turning is the actual post-mortem face-lift being performed on several of the interred occupants of the cemetery.
About 48,000 veterans are buried at the 64-acre cemetery along Bridgeboro Road. Local residents have banded together to raise money to make sure the deceased have smooth skin. “Nice complexion, no wrinkles” mumbled Doctor Nembaro while doing a skin peel. “I like to use a nice aloe vera to soothe the skin, followed by a cucumber mask, and finally we perform a lift. The contours are all gone.”
“This project has been a long time coming, and it's very necessary for that site,” he said. Nembaro said the wrinkle removal was partially paid for by the regional National Cemetery Administration, the rest of the money came from local citizens.
Hendley said the Department of Veterans Affairs is trying to improve the look of all its national cemeteries to bring them up to “shrine status.” She said the department wants each corpse to have healthy turf above, and healthy, well-maintained skin below. Hendley said all headstones must be clean and positioned in straight rows.
by File Boy
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 2:00 PM
4 Comments:
This is just plain creepy! Where the hell did you come up with this! One more article like this and I'll have to start pretending that we're not siamese twins anymore.
This came right off of NBC10.com. I merely edited it a little. That's all.
Much creepier than Death Row Wednesday even? Last meals and last words of the convited murderers? This is just a harmless little piece on non-elective surgery.
It's one thing to execute someone through a system of justice in response to a heinous crime. It's quite another to give them a facelift 20 years after they're dead, just in order to freshen them up a bit. Ok. My crap's macabre too, but you win for creepy! I mean if you're going to bother digging them up, I'd brush their teeth instead of give them a face lift. Their breath has to reek like death! In fact, I want to be buried with 10 toothbrushes and a case of Crest (with MFP)
Listen, if you want to have posts that aren't creepy, you have to go to our other site, Why I'm a Pansy. On Why I Shoot Stuff, we take shots at stuff. Besides, you're a-mung friends here.
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