And God Said . . .
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Thou shall not pollute the Earth. Thou shall beware of genetic manipulation. Modern times bring with them modern sins. So the Vatican has told the faithful that they should be aware of "new" sins such as causing environmental blight.
The guidance came at the weekend when Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican's number two man in the sometimes murky area of sins and penance, spoke of modern evils.
Asked what he believed were today's "new sins," he told the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano that the greatest danger zone for the modern soul was the largely uncharted world of bioethics.
"(Within bioethics) there are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control," he said.
The Vatican opposes stem cell research that involves destruction of embryos and has warned against the prospect of human cloning. Girotti, in an interview headlined "New Forms of Social Sin," also listed "ecological" offences as modern evils. In recent months, Pope Benedict has made several strong appeals for the protection of the environment, saying issues such as climate change had become gravely important for the entire human race.
Pollution is a big problem. God doesn’t want you to throw a whole paper sack of empty McDonalds wrappers out the window of a moving Honda. It’s bad for the environment and can cause a car accident. For 2008, God has rolled out a whole list of new naughty no-no’s and has commanded strict compliance. As mentioned previously, Stem Cell research has topped the list as the biggest no-no of modern time. Other sins include:
- Being a pop music star or film personality and procreating or adopting;
- Driving in all of the lanes of traffic at the same time;
- Donating to any political campaign in support of anyone named Bush;
- Eating anything that’s been “SUPERSIZED”;
- Naming your child “RUDY” (regardless of gender);
- Piercing any body part other than your earlobes;
- Staring at retarded or disabled people;
- Making faces behind anyone’s back;
- Wishing ill of anyone for any reason;
- Thinking bad thoughts;
- Purchasing or even thinking of driving a Chrysler PT Cruiser.
God says, stay tuned for 2009. He's working on a new list that is expected to really whip the planet into shape. The biggest change for 2009's list will be penalties from on high that accompany the law of God. In the future, if you sin, you'll know in advance what to expect. For example, there'll be a heavenly push to enforce the sin of sloth. in 09, couch potatoes can expect cancerous growths on the insides of their eyelids. “You get the picture!” said God during a recent interview.
d.t.
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Thou shall not pollute the Earth. Thou shall beware of genetic manipulation. Modern times bring with them modern sins. So the Vatican has told the faithful that they should be aware of "new" sins such as causing environmental blight.The guidance came at the weekend when Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican's number two man in the sometimes murky area of sins and penance, spoke of modern evils.
Asked what he believed were today's "new sins," he told the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano that the greatest danger zone for the modern soul was the largely uncharted world of bioethics.
"(Within bioethics) there are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control," he said.
The Vatican opposes stem cell research that involves destruction of embryos and has warned against the prospect of human cloning. Girotti, in an interview headlined "New Forms of Social Sin," also listed "ecological" offences as modern evils. In recent months, Pope Benedict has made several strong appeals for the protection of the environment, saying issues such as climate change had become gravely important for the entire human race.
Pollution is a big problem. God doesn’t want you to throw a whole paper sack of empty McDonalds wrappers out the window of a moving Honda. It’s bad for the environment and can cause a car accident. For 2008, God has rolled out a whole list of new naughty no-no’s and has commanded strict compliance. As mentioned previously, Stem Cell research has topped the list as the biggest no-no of modern time. Other sins include:
- Being a pop music star or film personality and procreating or adopting;
- Driving in all of the lanes of traffic at the same time;
- Donating to any political campaign in support of anyone named Bush;
- Eating anything that’s been “SUPERSIZED”;
- Naming your child “RUDY” (regardless of gender);
- Piercing any body part other than your earlobes;
- Staring at retarded or disabled people;
- Making faces behind anyone’s back;
- Wishing ill of anyone for any reason;
- Thinking bad thoughts;
- Purchasing or even thinking of driving a Chrysler PT Cruiser.
God says, stay tuned for 2009. He's working on a new list that is expected to really whip the planet into shape. The biggest change for 2009's list will be penalties from on high that accompany the law of God. In the future, if you sin, you'll know in advance what to expect. For example, there'll be a heavenly push to enforce the sin of sloth. in 09, couch potatoes can expect cancerous growths on the insides of their eyelids. “You get the picture!” said God during a recent interview.
d.t.
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 11:06 AM
7 Comments:
Some good points here from God. Interestingly I saw a report on a global-warming-is-killing-us website (here: http://wattsupwiththat.wordpress.com/2008/02/19/january-2008-4-sources-say-globally-cooler-in-the-past-12-months/
)
that there was a recent study that indicated that at four geographically separated sites (2 satellites and 2 terra firma)the global temp went down about a degree centigrade (which is about what it has gone up over the past 100 years). The site cautions that this does not "erase 100 years of global warming...and should be taken with a grain of salt" since we don't know why its gone down. Several anti-global warming folks are trumpeting this as evidence that the warming is a politicized fraud.
I for one think we need to stop the polution and reduce our carbon footprint, or at least that's what I think I think.
One thing I'll point out though, is that this directive from God is counter to what has been the status quo for most religious people. Most conservatives who are religious believe global warming is all hooey. I think they believe that because it would impact big business negatively. Some of the biggest religous zealots I know (read: "my family and friends") think I'm a kook for recycling and trying to be eco-friendly. In their defense, they're only doing what Rush Limbaugh would want (WWRD?). Maybe we can figure out a way to recycle Rush Limbaugh.
I read a fascinating study last week about warming/drying trends in the US western states. I wish I could remember where I saw it. The study discussed precipitation amounts over the past several hundred years determined by studying the properties of tree rings or annual growth. They used trees from all over the west and the results were incredible. Not only was the result highly reliable (it was cross-checked against tons of samples) it painted a surprising picture.
Results suggested that the temperatures and precipitation levels varied significantly over time and that what’s occurring right not is nothing but a normal swing in temps and precip levels. Apparently, the planet has experienced this many times over.
Another thing that was interesting is that human and animal migration closely follows the temps and precipitation. Apparently, sometime in the 1300s the west was populated by adobe dwelling Indians who suddenly abandoned their homes. The homes still exist in many states (I personally saw some in Arizona my last time there). The Indians up and left because of a prolonged drought that left the area uninhabitable for hunter gatherers / farmers.
Also, around the time of the gold rush in the 1800s the west was a lot cooler and wetter and better suited for supporting life. The report said that if conditions then were like conditions now, the west would have never been able to support the population that eventually moved out there. Now, with temps rising (again) and water decreasing (again) folks are going to have to think twice about moving out west. It sounds like the land just won’t be able to support everyone that’s out there.
I don’t know what to think about global warming. I do know this, almost every theory ORIGINALLY espoused by science is usually later supplanted with a better or more correct explanation than the original one. I think Global Warming might be occurring, but I also think it’s happened before and will again.
I agree that it has happened before and will happen again. There was a mini-ice age in Europe that began (I think) around the 1300s or so. If I remember correctly, previously it was a lot warmer, so much so that people who migrated to iceland found favorable conditions for establishing permanent residence. Then it turned colder and those people died out (unable to leave or adapt their farming practices).
Most of the evidence I've seen points to this "cycle".
I think its just smart to try to recycle and not be wasteful, whether you do so because you are following your political agenda lockstep, or because you think God wants you to or because you just feel guilty that we have and waste so much. I'm not sure if its true, but I've heard that a recycling a glass bottle saves enough energy to power a light bulb for an hour (I've also heard an aluminum can recylced saves enough energy to power the light bulb 4 hours). When I think of all the glass bottles flowing out of my house and all the lights I'm helping to keep lit across our country it makes me feel warm inside. Like the warm glowing warming glow of a light bulb, say.
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That's a lovely thought. The Mrs. is a keen recycler. She's very good at newspapers, cardboard, plastic, batteries, and magazines. It's funny - about once a month we load up the car and drive all of the recyclables over to the drop off spot and the whole way there, all I keep thinking about is how much gas I'm wasting driving over there.
I know that's wrong, but I can't help it. Here's a good one for you (and it's the gods honest truth). Sometimes I think too much about stuff and then I get a mini-panic attack..
For instance, I made a cup of coffee the other day and used a plastic stirrer to add synthetic sweetener. As I threw the stirrer into the trash, I found myself wondering “How many of these get thrown away in my office each day . . . in Delaware each day, in New York City each day, in the USA each day, in the world each day . . .? As my panic grew, I started picturing landfills filling up with plastic coffee stirrers, and then the cups, filters coffee grinds, and little plastic milk mini-moo containers. Then I was horror struck when I realized that as the Earth turns, it’s time to make coffee somewhere every hour of every day and then I realized that the Earth never gets a break from the ever-growing mound of coffee making refuse.
As I pondered this horror, I found myself washing the plastic stirrer. Halfway through, I stopped and said, “Just use a spoon and wash it – don’t make trash.” Then I thought about all the time I’d waste looking for a spoon and then washing it first to make sure it was clean and then again after making my coffee and then I found myself getting mad at all the extra work I’d created for myself. And finally I came to the conclusion that stirrer or spoon, either way I was fucked. Then I pondered not drinking coffee at all, which would eliminate the polluting stirrer problem and the time wasting spoon problem. And immediately I stopped and asked myself, “What are you crazy?” The problem is I think too much.
I think, as you've eloquently pointed out, that we can get too caught up in this craziness of recycling and carbon emissions etc. But its still good to try not to waste. For all that I think I'm doing, I still drive a pickup truck and an SUV (not at the same time most days). I still burn wood in a wood stove which emits tons of black soot into the atmosphere. But I've cut down on my propane useage, so I don't know if I'm doing well or breaking even. I know it costs less, so long as I can find firewood from downed trees and the like.
I was thinking that since we know about the law of conservation of energy/matter (and that the two are interchangeable), that whatever carbon you release from burning wood (or gas or oil) is just being released faster than normal. That is, it would be released anyway, just over the course of hundreds or thousands of years. Its not as though I created the carbon. I'm just releasing it really quickly. The same is probably true of petroleum useage. We didn't create the oil. We're just mining it and burning it. I'd think that eventually we will reach a point where we've reduced the amount of naturally occurring carbon-emitting materials, so the following hundred or thousand(s) of years we will experience a decrease in all of the naturally emitting sources. All of that subteranian oil that was emitting slowly from underground will be eliminated (because we already burned it), so we'll get warm now, then cool off significantly in the future. Cycle.
"Its not as though I created the carbon. I'm just releasing it really quickly."
LMFAO!!!!
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