Question No 1: Male or Female?
Question No 2: At what point do push back from the table and say, “No. I couldn’t eat another bite.”?
Question No. 3: What the hell is this beast so happy about?
Question No. 4: How do you like that mattress?
Question No. 5: What the hell is going on with that leg?
Question No. 6: Did you notice the phone by the bed. “Hello? Yes. It’s me again. The usual, yes. But only half anchovy, and all of your french fries. And a keg-o-cola and twenty pizzas – on the side. And can you send someone who can wipe my ass? Thank you.”
Question No. 7: What the hell does it smell like in that room?
Question No. 8: Has anyone seen the dog?
Question No. 9: How much does it weigh? (bed not included)
Question No 2: At what point do push back from the table and say, “No. I couldn’t eat another bite.”?
Question No. 3: What the hell is this beast so happy about?
Question No. 4: How do you like that mattress?
Question No. 5: What the hell is going on with that leg?
Question No. 6: Did you notice the phone by the bed. “Hello? Yes. It’s me again. The usual, yes. But only half anchovy, and all of your french fries. And a keg-o-cola and twenty pizzas – on the side. And can you send someone who can wipe my ass? Thank you.”
Question No. 7: What the hell does it smell like in that room?
Question No. 8: Has anyone seen the dog?
Question No. 9: How much does it weigh? (bed not included)
Question No. 10: Is that picture nailed to the wall the “Before” picture?
What say you?
by D. Tkon
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 4:57 PM
12 Comments:
1. I think that's a guy. What appears to be a big nipple on his chest is actually a piece of pepperoni that he dropped. Everyone knows guys don't have nipples.
2. You push back from the table and try to watch your weight up to about 300 pounds, and then after that I think you just say f it and enjoy yourself. Its nice to see someone so thoroughly enjoying themselves. Plus, thanks to this guy now we can all enjoy himself too.
3. He's happy because he's finally getting the attention he's always deserved.
4. I like it plenty. I'd like it some more if we could wrap this guy up in it and call it a fat pita.
5. Its hard to say. I think he had a lot of fat to store, so his body just decided to put it in his leg for a while. You know the old saying, "He ate like he had a hollow leg". This guy's leg is no longer hollow.
6. You bring up a good point. How does this fellow use the bathroom? I don't mean how does he bathe, because clearly that is done with a small washcloth (which I think is stuck under his mits).
7. Like Glade plug-ins (spring breeze scent) and old yoohoo.
8. The dog got too close to the side of the bed and is now inside of the fat man.
9. Around 800 pounds.
10. That is a missing child photo. The guy is proud to display it because the child now lives in his rolls.
I like all of your answers! The mattress pita was a riot! I wish I had thought of that. Here's my contribution:
1. I'm vacillating on sex. Just not sure.
2. You push back when all the bowls, plates and dishes are licked clean and everyone at the table with you is missing a couple of fingers;
3. I think he/she's smiling because he/she's bouncing on the bed and is thrilled that he/she can still move under his/her own power. Those legs are worthless though;
4. It's just disgusting beyond words - thinking about it makes me retch.
5. I don't know but it's frightening that your own body can betray you like that. I would hope my brain or some other part of my body would just kill me before it would let me get that fat. I think that when you hit 350, a switch should just go like the filament in a light bulb and you die.
6. Yes - the ass wiping issue is - lets say, right there in your face. I've heard that because it is such a cumbersome activity, they often hold their bowels for many days and then evacuate their colons like an elephant. The delay results in further water absorbsion and constipation. I can't imagine dooting 20 pizzas at one time. I wonder who mucks his/her stall?
8. It smells like that house I took a deposition in many years ago, where the deponent had no legs and used a chamber pot that was right there in the room with us along with her 25 cats and the 10 litter boxes that hadn't been emptied in a year. Oh. Did I mention it was 95 degrees that day and she had no air conditioning? The best part was watching the court reporter retch every five minutes or so and then say, "Excuse me."
8. Not since the last time it tried to steal some chili that dripped off a 7-11 SuperBite.
9. I'm thinking between 600 & 800 pounds (with clothes on of course)
10. I think that's a picture of his/her inner child - literally.
:-)
6. He probably does hold it in for like 4 days like you said. Then when he finally does get his big fat ass into the bathroom to unload its probably like a pudding rocket taking off.
5. His leg has decided to lend a hand to his ass and share some of the hemoroids. That's the biggest legroid I've ever seen.
I figured that since I've been notably absent, that if I was going to post, I should at least make it food for thought.
Did somebody say food?
I just read what you wrote again, and now I'm laughing so hard! I must have missed it - his leg decided to lend a hand to his ass! That is so damn funny!
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And what's up with that t-shirt stuffed in between his legs? Is he trying to hide his benis (belly + penis)?
He ought to do science a favor and show us his putt (penis gut).
I also note that his right hand appears to be a foot. I'm not sure why that is. Looks like a foot. It just does.
That's my brother.
tell him to unsheath his stenis then so we can see it.
File boy... you are gay! I knew it... Why else would you want to see this poor man's "junk". That's just wrong.
Obviously no one really wants to see his pemoch for sexual reasons, but wouldn't you be curious to know if what's happened to his leg has also happened to other areas? Can you imagine?! I don't want to know either. But it made me laugh to write pemoch, stenis, mitts and legroid.
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