Instead of creating resumes where everyone tells lies about their experience and talents, I wish people would just tell me why they are irresistible. It would save us all a lot of time and effort getting to know people and finding out they aren't all that their resume has them cracked up to be.

Here’s my: Why I find myself irresistible resume.

I like to work hard and get stuff done. I’m a real people person and I like a lot of good jokes. I like to smile and I like to have fun. Having fun is great.

I listen to music, and my taste in music is better than anyone else I’ve ever met. I like only good music.

I collect coins and rare paper currency.

I try to get the garbage out to the curb on Sunday evenings, and I hardly ever forget.

I have a .22 rifle.

I made the painting above by myself using only the Microsoft Paint program.

I have a box of fireworks that I keep in my garage with a lighter and matches.

I can cook on the grill and it tastes great.

I’m #1 most of the time.

My mouth says no, but my eyes say yes.

When I was younger I collected matchbox cars and I played in the flower bed with them all the time with my friend Barry.

I chopped a tree down the other day and it was like 25 feet tall!

I change the oil in my car all the time by myself.

I often find quicker or more scenic routes to and from work.

I subscribe to hunting magazines.

I can catch and throw a tennis ball using only one hand.

I can trick my dog into thinking I've thrown the tennis ball when really its just behind my back.

I call my cats to breakfast and dinner by whistling and they come when I whistle.

I can eat an entire bag of Red Hot potato chips without taking a drink.

I have bonfires with flames that shoot up through the sky.

I have like 5 mouse traps in my garage and I’ve caught 10 mice so far this year. I'll probably catch like 400 before the year ends.

I saw a snake in the grass last night and I didn’t get scared.

I had to spank my dog one time and I did it without getting all emotional about it until later when I felt bad and had to apologize.

I make good coffee unless the stupid filter falls over and then the coffee grounds get into the coffee and I drink it and get black specks in my teeth. It still tastes great though.

I have a huge plastic Hard Pretzel jar that is almost 1/3 of the way full of coins. There must be upwards of 300 dollars in change in it. 300 dollars will buy you a lot of fireworks.

I buy fireworks on the day after Independence Day because then I get buy-one-get-the-second-one-for-a-dollar type deals.

I always try to get the best deal on my purchases.

I have water balloons that I keep in case I have to fill them up with water and throw them at people when it’s hot out. I also have a few water pistols in case anyone wants to get smart with me.

I put a sticker on my girlfriend’s car of a big racked deer without her permission.

I have four throwing stars.

There’s not a doubt in my mind I’m irresistible, so no references are needed.

by File Boy