Thursday, March 01, 2007


Robots freak me out big time.

Have you ever stopped to think about how scary robots are? They are made of metal and they have wires for brains. They don’t go to the bathroom and they don’t have to sleep. I think they run on batteries. That’s freaky and weird.

Sometimes robots go on a rampage which is scary, plus they don’t listen to reason. They can rampage all over the place leaving nothing but mayhem and mass murder in their paths. It will be a bloodbath if this ever happens again.

I’ve heard some robots are bullet proof so you can’t just shoot them. I think if you had a really big bucket of water you could probably short circuit them or something -- that is if you could get close enough to do it. But probably the robot would see you coming and then he could shoot you before you got close enough with your bucket. You could probably lure a robot into a pond if you told him there were helpless old timers in there that he could shoot.

You might try spraying him with a garden hose from a distance, but you better hope it works, otherwise he’ll just shoot you.

I’m not talking about when people “do the robot” or do the "frobot".

I think robots will probably one day run the world and make us do their chores. We’ll probably have to mow their lawn, vacuum their houses and do other really terrible jobs that robots don’t want to do. Of course we’ll all have ourselves to blame because we’ve treated robots so poorly for so long. The robots will probably lord it over us that we created them, but look who’s the master now. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it turned out that robots aren’t very friendly.

I saw a movie about a Terminator robot one time which proves my point. This robot shoots everything in sight and then I think he kills another robot towards the end. That’s probably the only way to get rid of robots in the first place, make more robots. The robots you make to defeat the first robots have to have better guns. But then if those second robots get out of hand, then you have to build more robots. These robots probably wouldn’t even use guns, they would just use lasers. I think three generations of robots would be enough to fix the problem. Probably we could build a fourth set in case the third set failed or in case it turned on us. These robots would be able to fly.

In conclusion I think you can see the dangers associated with creating robots. I think we should look into this more closely.

Thank you.

File Boy

19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't Stephen Hawking about three batteries and 2 more pounds of metal away from being a robot? Christ! He already sounds like one. I wouldn't want to take him on. How much you want to bet his wheel chair has a death ray and can fire a Tow Missile? He probably has some sort of invisible shield too, if you shoot anything at him. And I bet the wheel chair can fly and go in excess of 200 mph. Do you think letting him go into outer-space is really a good idea my robot averse friend?

6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Stephen Hawking probably has a lot of ways to kill his enemies while sitting in his wheel chair. Its just a matter of whether he wants to or not. He just lets his enemies live because he is generous. There are things on his wheel chair that you haven't even heard of yet that could kill like 100 people at once.

I think if Stephen goes to space it will usher in an era of robot cyborgs the likes of which we have only dreamed about in our nightmares.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So you're saying all robots are automatically armed with guns? I agree that robots are a bit freaky but its not as if we're in China where they have kick-ass robots who do sleep and are probably do use the bathroom. Stop imagining that all robots are always armed with guns and out to kill you.

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fifi I think you have been duped by the robots. Stop and think about what you are saying. Not all robots have guns? They don't all need guns because some have lasers, and some probably can do karate. I'm just saying that I'm not going to take any chances on this one. If you want to run around befriending robots, hey - go right ahead. You'll be sorry when they turn on you and all of the humans don't want you because you have robot stink all over you.

Is that an oil stain I see on your dress? FIFI! How could you?

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew you were going to say robots have lasers. Look all I'm saying is that robots have feelings too. They're not all gun toting, laser shooting machines. I take you never saw Short Circuit with Steve Guttenberg? Classic.

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've heard of that movie, but don't really remember what happens in it. If it tries to paint robots as nice, its probably just more robot propaganda. "Oh look how soft and cuddly we can be. Come here a minute"

Then they kill you.

Even if you could create a nice robot, I can hear its motorized voice now <"reboot, malfunction, error, must shoot humans, create mayhem error...">

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's next? Robots that will help you pick out curtains?

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

seriously. hey robot, why don't you come over here and pick out a curtain with me. as if robots know anything about curtains. They would probably short circuit.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did you see the size of that robot in the picture? He's like 8 feet tall. How would we ever beat him? I bet they can get even bigger than that too.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard that you can defeat very large robots by throwing rice at them, but it has to be white rice and can't be all over-cooked and sticky. Not like that mushy stuff you get at the Chinese restaurant. The grains have to be small and individual. I understand that it confuses them - befuddles them actually. Apparently, they get confused because they can't imagine why someone would do that to them - how someone could be so stupid to think that rice could disable them in all their hugeness and powerfullness. As they're pondering the absurdity of your rice-throwing, you sneak up and take their batteries!

11:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I knew we'd come up with a plan.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next I'll work on how we keep Clinton out of office!

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was able to delete that stupid stroke story.

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Listen guys... You need to stop being scared of robots. Besides, that picture of the robot, while he was over 8 feet tall, he had a Scooby-Doo face. How could you be afraid of that?

dt, I'm glad you were able to delete that stupid stroke story. Not funny at all.

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But what happened to Charlie? Yeah... What happened to Charlie?

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The robot in the picture might not be super scary, but did you click on the frobot link? That's scary! Imagine you're in a dark alley and suddenly you see frobot - he's frobotting your way and there's no way out of the alley. There he is, frobotting all over the place inching - no, forbotting ever closer. Then before you know it he's jamming his frobot into your mouth and frobotting all up and down your body. All over your tender body. Frobotting all over you. He's telling you in your ear, "Shh, let my frobot wash all over your body" and you are shaking and quivering with excitement. Then what?

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I read your last post, for some reason I misread the word "excitement" as "excriment". I like it a lot better that way!

Scoooooobydooooooo! I thought I recognized that face! Actually, I thought it was Wilee Coyote, but what do I know!

" . . .of sweets and joy and joyness."

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooops! Typo - I meant Excrement

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

frobotting all over you body with excrement and quivering frobots.

1:58 PM  

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