Talking Urinal Cakes Target Drunk Drivers; Drunk Drivers Target Cakes In Quid Pro Quo
DWI Message Played During Men's Last Pit Stop Before Driving
SANTA FE -- New Mexico has taken its fight against drunken driving to men's restrooms around the state.
The state has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded anti-DWI message to bar and restaurant patrons who make one last pit stop before getting behind the wheel.
The top of the devices feature the state DWI slogan -- "You drink, you drive, you lose."
Some Albuquerque bars installed the devices this week.
And the state Transportation Department plans to distribute them to Santa Fe bars and restaurants as well as establishments in Farmington, Gallup and Las Cruces.
The state spent $21 for each talking urinal cake for the pilot program but will ask bars and restaurants to pay for future orders if the idea catches on. The cakes will become the second most expensive government-funded tinkle-target known; government-subsidized park benches at the R-line subway terminal in Philadelphia take top honors for this distinction.
The cakes have enough battery power to last about three months, or the equivalent of 3,640 tinkles at roughly 40 urination station visits per day.
When reached for comment on the pricey urinal cakes, the governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson said, “We aim to please. You aim too, please”.
The state has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded anti-DWI message to bar and restaurant patrons who make one last pit stop before getting behind the wheel.
The top of the devices feature the state DWI slogan -- "You drink, you drive, you lose."
Some Albuquerque bars installed the devices this week.
And the state Transportation Department plans to distribute them to Santa Fe bars and restaurants as well as establishments in Farmington, Gallup and Las Cruces.
The state spent $21 for each talking urinal cake for the pilot program but will ask bars and restaurants to pay for future orders if the idea catches on. The cakes will become the second most expensive government-funded tinkle-target known; government-subsidized park benches at the R-line subway terminal in Philadelphia take top honors for this distinction.
The cakes have enough battery power to last about three months, or the equivalent of 3,640 tinkles at roughly 40 urination station visits per day.
When reached for comment on the pricey urinal cakes, the governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson said, “We aim to please. You aim too, please”.
by File Boy
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 1:12 PM
6 Comments:
All I can say is that I’m jealous that I didn’t post this! I love any type of potty humor and it doesn’t get much better than this. Urinal cake happens to be my favorite kind of cake! There’s nothing better. And now urinal cakes that talk? That’s just brilliant. I’m going to get one for my house. I want my toilet to talk to me no matter WHAT I’m doing. But rather than warn me about the risks of drinking and driving, I want it to shout encouragement! Oh – I can hear it already! “ (AUTHOR TOO EMBARASSED TO TYPE WHAT THE CAKE WOULD SHOUT) “
And it would be great if the urinal cake argued with you while you’re peeing.
UC = Urinal Cake and PDD = Potential Drunk Driver
UC: Um . . . Excuse me, but I don’t think you ought to be driving tonight
PDD: Huh? Who said that?
UC: Me. Down here in the toilet.
PDD: Down here? What the fu-
UC: Look, take it from me, I know about these things – there’s no way you should be driving. By my calculations, your blood alcohol level is at least a point two-three.
PDD: Fffffuck you talking about point two-three! Fuckin point two-three NOTHING!
UC: I’m telling you. If you go leave here and try to drive, you’re going to park it against a tree pal. I’ve seen it before.
PDD: Ha ha ha shiiiiiiiiit! You know what liddle toilet thingy? I love you! I – I mean I really love you! You know you’re my best friend in the whole world right? Thasss right! My bestest buddy in the whole world. Say! How ‘bout I buy you a drink? Yooooou and me have a drink! You wanna drink?
UC: No thanks. I already have one.
I’d have paid good money to sit in on that product development meeting at the urinal cake company when that idea was pitched. “How about this guys, a urinal cake that warns drunks not to drink and drive?”
At what point does the urnial cake get too drunk to talk? Afterall, doesn't the alcohol (among other things) have to pass over the cake in order for it to register the alcohol level? (Altho we won't touch the stmt "blood" alcohol level...) Anyway, seems to me there wld come a point when the cake wld get drunk with alcohol and she (yes, the cake is a woman because isn't the urnial cake taking the place of your nagging wife?) too wld be too drunk to give an accurate reading.
When you walk into the can and hear "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen" coming out of the urinal, you know it's time for a new cake.
Typical government solution. There are laws against driving drunk, but rather than use money to enforce them, they've spent money on piss cakes. I wonder if they used tax money for this. And what happens to women who unfortunately have to pay taxes too, but don't benefit from the pee-pee warning? And how long until a woman gets drunk, goes for a ride and gets into an accident, and then is able to sue the bar because she wasn't warned by a cake that she shouldn't drive? I think the people of New Mexico ought to give their governor a swirlie and send him packing.
Yeah! Why aren't there urinal cakes for women!!!!
Historically women have not been able to effectively use a urinal -- altho many have tried. It seems to be physically impossible to aim a woman's part w/any kind of accuracy as shown by many of my counterparts leaving a restroom w/tell-tail signs of dribble running down their pant's legs. More importantly, the concept of "aiming" is foreign to most women. Therefore, instead of a urinal cake, the manufacturer wld have to come up w/something tht wld sit on the surface of the toliet bowl and act more as a collection device (altho I wld strongly suggest it be more sieve-like in nature). And then it wld also have to be anchored to the bowl in some way so tht it didn't flush away each time thus wasting money. And then I guess it wld have to have a "dumping" capability so that any waste material wld also flush away. And then, oh fuck, forget it. Women's peeing mechanisms are just too complicated for this concept, can't we just flirt w/the cop like we always do and get outta the damn DUI ticket?
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