Candidates Receive Endorsements In Battle For City Hall In Philadelphia
The battle for City Hall is heating up in the final hours of the mayoral primary.
A new poll released on Friday shows Tom Knox and Michael Nutter in a statistical dead heat.
That’s why the announcement today from Jesus Christ that He would be throwing His support to mayoral candidate Michael Nutter’s campaign has come as such a huge setback for Tom Knox.
“With the primary set for today, any help is appreciated, but Jesus Himself? Christ that’s huge” said Knox at a rally staged earlier today.
The announcement from Christ came just hours before the primary was set to open.
Other endorsements of note include Tom Knox’s support received from City Councilwoman Jannie Blackwell who made the announcement Wednesday in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia.
Knox is backing City Council candidates who could choose Blackwell as council president. Democratic candidate Bob Brady is also stacking up new endorsements.
Several more groups are backing Brady, including Fairmount Park and Recreation workers, correctional officers and the parking authority.
Brady is campaigning as a labor supporter. The police and fire unions have also endorsed Brady.
More than a dozen elected officials, including a coalition of state senators, representatives and councilpersons, have backed candidate Dwight Evans.
Analysts familiar with the powers of Christ believe Christ’s support will help to carry Nutter to a landslide victory in Philadelphia today.
“You can do a lot of things, but you can’t beat Jesus” Brady was quoted as saying earlier today.
The battle for City Hall is heating up in the final hours of the mayoral primary.
A new poll released on Friday shows Tom Knox and Michael Nutter in a statistical dead heat.
That’s why the announcement today from Jesus Christ that He would be throwing His support to mayoral candidate Michael Nutter’s campaign has come as such a huge setback for Tom Knox.
“With the primary set for today, any help is appreciated, but Jesus Himself? Christ that’s huge” said Knox at a rally staged earlier today.
The announcement from Christ came just hours before the primary was set to open.
What it looks like when Christ shines down His love on you
Other endorsements of note include Tom Knox’s support received from City Councilwoman Jannie Blackwell who made the announcement Wednesday in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia.
Knox is backing City Council candidates who could choose Blackwell as council president. Democratic candidate Bob Brady is also stacking up new endorsements.
Several more groups are backing Brady, including Fairmount Park and Recreation workers, correctional officers and the parking authority.
Brady is campaigning as a labor supporter. The police and fire unions have also endorsed Brady.
More than a dozen elected officials, including a coalition of state senators, representatives and councilpersons, have backed candidate Dwight Evans.
"Dwight Evans? Who the hell is Dwight Evans?" Christ said just after his announcement this morning.
Analysts familiar with the powers of Christ believe Christ’s support will help to carry Nutter to a landslide victory in Philadelphia today.
“You can do a lot of things, but you can’t beat Jesus” Brady was quoted as saying earlier today.
"Jesus, these guys would be lost without me, you know? So I try to lend my support to the guy who will do his best for Philly" Christ said.
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 1:00 PM
5 Comments:
I totally doubt Christ is supporting a black man for mayor, please.
OMG! Please tell my you wrote this! I love shit like this.
"Analysts familiar with the powers of Christ believe Christ’s support will help to carry Nutter to a landslide victory in Philadelphia today."
So good!
Of course I wrote it.
I'm so glad you wrote this. I read it again just for the laugh. Whoever said God and Sarcasm don't mix!
The muslims probably would say that. they don't seem to enjoy any humor around God. Its all bullets this and swords that.
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