Table Scraps Harmful to Pets, No Scraps at all Worse

Point Breeze, Dec. 5, 2006 -

In this era of pet resorts, doggie yoga, feng shui pet gardens and Retin-A acne treatments for cats, it was only a matter of time. Obese pets are now a real problem in many American households.

The epidemic of overweight pets in America is at an all-time high. "The overweight dog is overloved,' said Dr. Lawrence Gerson, a veterinarian in Point Breeze who has started a regular weigh-in program to monitor some of his pudgy patients. Many of the owners don't recognize that their pets are larger than they should be.

One of every four dogs and cats in the Western world is obese, according to the landmark 2003 report from the National Academy of Sciences. Researchers compiled the 450-page report after reviewing 25 years of scientific papers on cat and dog nutrition.

Doctor Gerson feels that the problem is table scraps. “I see dozens of pets monthly at my clinic, and when I ask the owners of the most obese pets whether they feed them table scraps or not, inevitably the answer is yes. The owners are often lard asses themselves.”

Not everyone is ready to jump on the “Table Scraps are bad for my pet bandwagon”. Jeremy Travis of New Larson said: “Hey, my dog will eat his own shit, and likes it. So I give him a t-bone every once in a while. I don’t think it matters. Leave me alone, all of you.”

Indeed the topic has lately become a hot-bed of debate amongst veterinary circles.
In an effort to quell the debate, scientists at the Roarshack Institute have recently conducted a study aimed at proving or disproving, once and for all, the extant theory that table scraps are the leading cause of obesity in pets.

First, a large number of cats were obtained from the local Humane Society. These animals were shaved and numbered from 1 to 300. Although unnecessary, the shaving and numbering proved to be entertaining for the scientists. “They hate spray paint”, commented Dwight Spring, assistant to Dr. Lowethal, who was conducting the study.

The cats were then caged and half were given only table scrap-type food. A partial list of the diet included such things as mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, pork chops, milk, bread, cake, brownies, and ice cream.

The other half of the animals were considered the “control”, and were given no table scraps at all.

Although the results have yet to be studied and additional research is necessary to reach a conclusion, the scientists are sure of one thing. The animals that were given table scraps actually fared much better than the animals that were not fed at all. According to Dr. Lowenthal, “The control population died. Every one of them. I don’t think one of them made it past 4 days.”
Scientists plan to announce the results of the testing in next month’s Bark MD magazine.

by File Boy