Speaking About Shooting Stuff
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
by d.tkon
posted by File Boy & D.Tkon at 10:01 AM
16 Comments:
Fixaflaccid, Fixalimp, Hydrochloricflaccid, mojometaphine, Tylengthol, limpnomore, etc...there's just no end to the possibilities. Tetrahydrohardon.
I just went back and re-read the article. Sweet fancy moses this is brilliant. I just have to once again take my cap off to you sir. Thank you. This has to be the forerunner in the quest for best post ever.
I accept your nomination with no humility whatsoever! Hey! What can I say? There’s nothing like a good penis joke. And as you know, I live to entertain you!
d
I think this is #1, and #2 might be the Death Row Wednesday in which you posted a story about a guy who went nuts and killed his wife. Your comment, "I don't know, some how this makes sense to me" will live in infamy. I would that I could bronze these two posts and hang them about my neck like a noose to remind me to write gooder.
You boys are killing me w/these pics here in my cube -- but I love them to death!!! Personally, I just want to meet the guy who has the four hour or more erection warned abt on the label!
FB - I have to agree with you about the comment "I don't know - somehow this makes sense to me." You'd appreciate it even more if you knew my wife and her mother. I have to say, in some ways, it sounded like the most sane thing I'd ever heard. If I'd been on that jury, believe me, he'd be a free man.
And thanks for your very kind words. I'll start writing my acceptance speach. Hey! Perhaps we should have a quarterly "Blast from the Past" post and repost our favorite post from the last three months. We can request nominations!
That would be an excellent idea, however no one reads our blog, so I think the ideas would have to come from us. But I'm all for it!
You know, the worst thing is to be a small fish in a large pond. Whenever I get inspired to write something, and then I see a post like the one you did today, all the wind is taken out of my sails. I feel like a fish flopping around in my own literary mud.
FB, I've been called many things but I resent being referred to as "nobody". I read the blog but just don't have time always to respond -- but more importantly I do not feel up to sparing level w/the two of you! But I will definitely vote....
FB - Don't ever be intimidated by anyone's writing. If everyone followed that logic, only the greatest writer in the world would ever write. And by the way, your stuff rocks. I write plenty of crap as well - believe me, ADDGirl lets me know every time I write something shitty. It sounds like someone needs a hug. Keep writing. I always laugh at your stuff.
Okay, now tht we've sufficiently stroked the hell out of FB and his ego (seems like the appropriate post for such an activity) can we all just get back to the intended purpose of this blog -- MAKE ME LAUGH!
I was on my way home last night and it hit me, Dr. Pecker. Ok, not as nice as Mount & Do, but certainly better than my other idea, Cock-a-cola. WAh wah wah wah....
Oh, and thanks for reading s'girl. You're not a nobody in my book.
One last thing, I heard last night that the noted Professor Backwards passed away over the weekend. Apparently his neighbors ignored his cries of "Pleh! Pleh!"
I had heard a rumor that Phizer was going to bring "Rosie" back to do some commercial spots for them. You may recall from your youth that she was the gal who did the Bounty paper towel commercials. Phizer was going to pay her a mint to hold up their little blue pill and say . . .
"Viagra! It's the quicker pecker upper!"
>golf claps<
Not to be outdone Shasta is coming out with its own version, Shafta. Then there's Ginger rail and 7-UP! too.
I bet you made that up!
I wonder how many different add campaigns we could come up with for that. Can you imagine how many different products there are out there that would only need the slightest adjustment to work? Lets see . . . (stealing from NIKE - Just do it!) (There's Minute Rice - their add line is "Ready in a Minute!")(There's Cambles Soup's line - "Mmm Mmm Good!") Your turn.
Wendy's: "Where's the beef?"
Maxwell House: "Good to the last drop"
and my personal favorite, Alka Seltzer: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
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